When it comes to babies, being that I have zero kids, I'm probably the last person who knows anything about "the essentials." On the other hand, I do recognize ridiculousness when I see it. The following list contains real products that some parents actually deemed necessary in the upbringing of their young. I have a feeling that experienced parents will get a laugh out of this.

  • 5

    Prenatal Musical System

    Price: $99.99

    This product claims to be the best way to get sounds to your baby while it's still in the womb. Here's a tip. Put that hundred back into your pocket for diapers and just sing and hum for your baby. Save the new Black Eyed Peas playlist for the umbilical after-party.

    Think Geek
  • 4

    Peekaru Fleece/Baby Carrier Hybrid

    Price: $79.95

    At first glance this looks like a Snuggie for babies, but it's not. It's worse. It's called a Peekaru. It's a fleece like material vest that also harbors your child. On the official website under the 'what people are saying' section, one lady says "The first time we wore it, 5 separate people stopped me to ask what it was and where I got it and many others smiled and made comments about how cozy it looked." If you think that is worth 80 bucks, then go ahead and waste your money, lol.

    Togetherbe
  • 3

    The Babykeeper

    Price: $40.00

    The only the thing worse than bringing an infant into a public restroom, is hanging them on the filthy stall while doing your business. This glorified bungee system claims to be the solution for those moments where it's really inconvenient to be holding your kid. I can only imagine how many kids have fallen out of this little contraption. I don't know what I would do if I ever walked in to a bathroom and saw the picture to the left.

    Mommysentials
  • 2

    The Time Out Pad

    Price: $20.00

    Ok, I must admit, this is kinda cool.. but nevertheless, it is TOTALLY unnecessary, nor is it effective! First of all, you're kid won't understand the concept of "Time Out" until he or she is old enough to do whatever it takes to get sent there. By that time, it won't be so "cute" to send them to time out on a mechanism fully equipped with blinking lights and a timer. Punishment isn't supposed to be fun or entertaining so don't waste your money and enhance the effectiveness of your Time Out sessions!

    Amazon
  • 1

    The Baby Mop

    Price: Unknown

    Nothing says good parenting like teaching your kids responsibility. This Baby Mop gives your baby the chance to get right to work. If baby is old enough to crawl, baby is old enough to do chores. The website says "if your child is of crawling age, simply dress them in the special onesie, place them on a hardwood floor, and watch in amazement as they spring into action." I can almost hear Child Protective Services knocking now.

    Inventor Spot