Professional writer for Uproxx.com, GammaSquad.com, Guyspeak.com, Guyism.com, Zug.com, and innumerable other sites. He writes the Internet, basically.
Dan Seitz
Google ‘Dying Grandparent’ On Google Images And You Get… Christina Aguilera?!
Christina Aguilera has fallen victim to an exceptionally strange search engine quirk: If you Google 'dying grandparent' in Google Images, it's predominantly images of her, and she's neither a grandparent nor dying.
So what's going on?
Here’s A Black Friday Stampede To Make You Glad You Didn’t Leave The House
Here's the Saturday-after-Thanksgiving tradition: a smartphone video of a Black Friday riot. This is in Moultrie, GA, and the swarms of people are grabbing cheap pay-as-you-go smartphones. But it's not the only shame to be happening, as the clip you've seen elsewhere isn't legit.
Why Pay Thousands For Twinkies? Here’s The Recipe.
In the wake of the closing of Hostess, many are worried that they won't be able to get Twinkies, and driving the prices of the snack cakes up to absurd degrees on eBay.
Good thing the recipe is easy to find, if you're not made of money.
Obama and Mckayla Maroney Are Very Disappointed In… Something
President Obama met with the 2012 United States Olympic Gymnastics Team and... well... you can see what happened for yourself.
Woman “Shot Dead” At Wheel Just Drunk Zombie
Some costumes are awesome in their cleverness, or awesome in their humor, or awesome because they're so convincing. Of course, sometimes a convincing costume will cost you, as an anonymous Birmingham woman found out.
‘NOLA to New York’ Features Katrina Survivors Sending Hope to Sandy’s Victims
Superstorm Sandy has caused a lot of damage. People have died, homes have been destroyed, businesses have been ruined. Americans across the country are reaching out by donating money, time, food, and clothing, but they're also reaching out with message of hope in the blog NOLA To New York.
Meet The Man Who Lived In Hotels On Stolen Credit Cards… For Twenty Years
Credit card fraud is one of the more annoying aspects of modern life. Thankfully, federal law limits your liability to $50, which is a good thing considering guys like Jeffrey Hawkins are around.
Sedated Dog Sounds Just Like Chewbacca
This is Aero. He went to the vet for treatment, which he recovered handily. But in the meantime, this is what he sounds like when he's expressing displeasure under sedation. The results sound eerily similar to Chewbacca:
So that's how they did it...
This Is The Only Dodgeball GIF You’ll Ever Need
Dodgeball is a rite of passage for millions, whether you've got the coordination and skill to catch a ball, or just get brutally pounded by your classmates with rubber balls while the coach laughs.
For everybody who ever hated dodgeball, this GIF is for you.
Gangs Try To Solve Problems With Dance-Off, Wind Up In Gunfight
As fun as dance-offs can be, and despite what movies like "West Side Story" may insist, they're really not an effective way to try and mediate problems between two criminal organizations. Two Thai gangs found this out the hard way when a Gangnam Style dance contest turned into a shoot-out.
13-Year-Old Steals Brother’s Car, Drives 800 Miles To Meet Internet Boyfriend
Elizabeth Annette Robinson seems like a nice girl. She's thirteen, and we all remember what it's like to be in middle school. So when she met somebody over Xbox Live, it was love at first game.
Then Elizabeth decided to play Grant Theft Auto for real, stealing her brother's car to meet her boyfriend.