Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
Girl Gives Herself ‘Atomic Wedgie’ Climbing Fence
A wedgie has to be one of the most humiliating, yet mostly harmless, experiences those people we gave all those wedgies too ever had. Don't believe us? Watch this NSFW video.
‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’ Theme Prompts School Lockdown
Wow. So many people should be so embarrassed. Except, of course, for the Fresh Prince -- he's too fresh to be embarrassed. After mishearing the lyrics to the theme from 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,' a receptionist called the police about a potential mass school shooting. Chaos ensued.
The Best Stupid Game Show Answers in One Handy Video
Why spend time clicking related videos on YouTube, when you can have all the stupid game show answers compiled into one convenient video?
Man Asks Wife to Slap Him Every Morning, Films Results
This man asked his wife to slap him awake every day for 15 days. (We don't know why.) She filmed it every day. This sounds like it could get old. It doesn't get old. It gets amazing. Just watch.
Woman Letting Internet Name Her Baby for $5,000
Suddenly we feel very lucky to have been born in the '80s. Back then, our biggest naming danger was being called Brandi or Lacey. One mom-to-be is letting the internet name her child, so who knows what it will be called.
World’s Oldest Breakdancing Video Uncovered
We don't know this kid's name, so we're just going to call him ORIGINAL B-BOY. This video, which the Library of Congress has politely decided to share with the world, was made in 1898, and shows a little street urchin performing acrobatics and maybe breaking just a little bit.
Jack Nicholson Is Confused at the Oscars
Jack Nicholson seemed even more confused than usual when he got caught off-guard on-camera at the Oscars on Sunday night. Plenty of 'Weekend at Bernie's' jokes abounded on the web. A GIF was spawned. But perhaps nothing captured the senior moment better than this picture made by twitter user Samir Mezrahi. Observe brilliance in its pure form:
YouTube Hair Tutorial Goes Terribly Wrong [VIDEO]
Hopefully anybody who's tempted to watch this for actual advice watches all the way through first, rather than just follow along.
This Is What Happens When You Drink 20 Year Old Crystal Pepsi
You know what? Good. We want this guy to puke. He calls himself LA Beast and thinks a shirt that says "SWAG SWAG SWAG" is cool. The only reason we wouldn't want him to puke is that he has a whole YouTube channel that is just footage of him subjecting himself to "Xtreme" food challenges that ultimately result in barf, so we suspect he might actually enjoy throwing up...
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Lonely? Here’s How to Really Wallow in Valentine’s Day Misery
Being sad, alone and pathetic is sort of a specialty of mine. To give you an idea, I've definitely been humiliated by an airbrush artist at an amusement park, which I was visiting without any friends. So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I've basically mastered the art of being totally miserable. Feel free to join me, but it's going to be a pretty rough night. Let's get started, shall we?
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Presenting the ‘Very Last Harlem Shake Video’ You’ll Ever Need to See
According to these guys, this is the very last Harlem Shake video ever. According to us, when did anybody on the internet ever listen to anybody else? Still, it is a suitably (NSFW) violent ending to something that has been annoying us basically since the first time we saw it.
Everything You Need to Know About the Harlem Shake
If you look at the internet at all, you've probably noticed a sudden proliferation of Harlem Shake videos. Why, you might be asking, are all these people wearing horse head masks and throwing themselves around shabby dorm rooms? It's a fair question, and one we'd like to answer for you. This is your essential guide to the Harlem Shake.
Here’s Ellen DeGeneres Ogling Katy Perry’s Boobs At Last Night’s Grammy Awards
Congratulations are in order for Ellen DeGeneres after last night's Grammys. She didn't win an award, but she did do something possibly better -- say what we were all thinking about Katy Perry's boobs. With her face. On camera. Take a look.
The Worst Valentine’s Day Gifts on the Web
If you're feeling a little pressure to impress this Valentine's Day, let us lend you a hand. Here are some things you DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BUY. So just cross those right off your list of gift ideas.
‘Sweet Brown’ Ain’t Got Time for Toothaches
Internet star Sweet "Ain't Nobody Got Time for That" Brown is back, and she's figured out how to make some money from her viral success. She's starring in a commercial!
Everybody’s Doing the Harlem Shake
Of all the things people make videos of themselves doing, we have to say this is probably our favorite. It's more entertaining than planking, and doing a Google image search for it isn't nearly as traumatizing as it was for milking. These days everybody's doing the Harlem Shake.
Dog With Human Face Available for Adoption
If you're looking for a pet, but want something that your friends might find slightly disturbing, put down that ferret catalog, because this is the animal for you!
Twitter Thinks Bane Caused the Super Bowl XLVII Blackout
We're going to pretend all of these people are hilarious and not morons. When the 2013 Super Bowl was delayed by a power outage, most people took it as a chance to actually talk to the people at their football party. These people decided to make jokes on Twitter that the half hour of darkness was actually 'The Dark Knight Rises' villain Bane's fault.
Pizza Hut Salutes Quarterbacks for Their 2013 Super Bowl Commercial
We're having a 'Usual Suspects' moment here. The whole time we've been hearing quarterbacks yelling "hut," we thought it was a football thing. Turns out it's just been one gigantic advertisement for Pizza Hut the whole time.
Kleenex Alert! Brother Fills in For Late Dad for Wedding Dance Song [VIDEO]
If, like us, you're in need of a good crying jag because for God's sake how is it not Friday yet, we recommend this video. It's got all the ingredients for a good, old-fashioned Tear Fest. Dead parents. Weddings. Sentimental country songs.