There’s only one thing weirder than a biopic about an artist who’s still alive, and that’s a biopic about an artist who’s still alive and wants nothing to do with said biopic and has in fact disowned it completely. That’s Britney Ever After, Lifetime’s (naturally) drama about pop artist Britney Spears’ career and fall to “rock bottom.”

The artist herself has removed herself entirely from the project, saying that she would not be contributing to it “in any way, shape, or form.” And that’s probably a good idea, because this already looks like a mess. Natasha Bassett does not look like Spears, no matter how much product she puts in her hair, and the concert scenes look… really small. Don’t those look oddly cramped, like the crew was only allowed one tiny office-sized room in which to shoot those scenes? And where is Banana??

This biopic just feels really weird. We already know all of this stuff happened, it’s not like any plot point in this movie is going to be a revelation to anyone. We’ve lived through the bedazzled onesies, the head-shaving, and the subsequent comeback. Is it necessary to make us all go through it again?

And who, exactly, is this movie made for? I doubt there’s much of a correlation between people who liked “Make Me” and people who religiously watch Lifetime movies, but I could certainly be wrong. It does have an uplifting I’ll-get-through-it-for-my-fans message, which is also nothing new. I predict that the only thing that’ll make this movie worth watching is the creepy hair-raising uncanny-valley feeling we’ll get when we look at who’s playing who.

Britney Ever After premieres on Lifetime February 18.

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