Chris Brown has had a pretty eventful week. When he wasn't threatening parking valets or punting bodyguards off his private jet, he was doling out sterling relationship advice.

In short, if you're Breezy's woman, you belong to him. Every part of you. Including (and especially) your lady bits.

Late Thursday night, Brown was partying Hollywood's Emerson Theatre when the spirit of giving overtook him and he commandeered the mic from the DJ to bless the crowd with his sage wisdom regarding the gentler sex. It went a little something like this:

“You gotta say that one thing to her ... Don’t make me have to tell you again: ‘That’s my p---y, baby! It's mine! So you better not give it away!’

So every person in this motherf---ing building, if you got a bad bitch, you better say that s--- to her, or she might f--- another n--a.”

If this whole music thing doesn't work out for Chris, we see another career for him: writing Hallmark cards. Because damn. We're a little misty here.

That Rihanna is one lucky, lucky girl.