It's hard to believe that it's been four years since a lethal drug overdose took the life of Adam Goldstein, aka DJ AM. I remember it being hard to believe it had been three years last year at this time, and chances are next year (and every year after that) I'll be saying the same thing. DJ AM was a great DJ that I unfortunately never had the chance to meet, or even see play live.

It's crazy to think that there was a guy that I always felt understood and appreciated music and playing it for others exactly the way that I did, and I never managed to cross paths, or even at least share the same stage with him. It wasn't because of lack of opportunity, that's for sure. I had plenty of chances to see him play live, but being a DJ - much like AM - meant that normally when he was playing, I was somewhere playing too.

It certainly wasn't because seeing AM play his gig wasn't worth the money that I was making at mine; I just always took for granted that there would surely be another time that the stars would align, and I would see him on a night that I wasn't obligated to be behind the decks somewhere else.

And I was right.

July 8, 2009 was a Wednesday night, and DJ AM was making a stop along with DJ Jazzy Jeff at the House of Blues on their tag team tour, and I was off (finally).

What a great deal, right? Not only would I be seeing DJ AM for the first time, I would also be seeing another one of my idols; the one-and-only DJ Jazzy Jeff, on the same stage, on the same night. It was like my procrastination had paid off and now I was seeing two great DJs that I admired instead of one.

Except, I didn't go.

Who knows what the excuse was that night, but little did I know that would be the last opportunity I would have to see DJ AM as he died about a month later. Luckily, I ended up sharing the stage with DJ Jazzy Jeff later that year in New Orleans, but to this day I look at the YouTube clips from that night at the House of Blues in New Orleans and kick myself for not making the two hour drive to see some of the best DJing that has ever happened within four walls.

Before and after AM's death, a handful of his close friends and colleagues have told me that my style and my personality reminded them a lot of DJ AM, and that I would probably have loved the guy. Being compared to a guy who has made such an impact on the DJ culture is a hard compliment to take, but to even be mentioned in the same sentence is complimentary enough for me.

If anything, their words only make me kick myself more for not taking that trip back in 2009. I'm constantly reminded when I look at this footage below, showing DJ AM looking on with the "I'm not worthy" face as DJ Jazzy Jeff totally kills his famous 'Peter Piper' routine.

This will forever be the best DJ performance that I never saw.