Your Unofficial Guide To Spring Break 2013

If you have the internet, you have no excuse to end up in a lame spot for Spring Break. It's as simple as asking your bros and homegirls where they were in those mobile uploads they posted going ham on the beach. When all else fails, use Google. Don't lead your wolfpack to a lame place that's family friendly, only to be butthurt when a mom doesn't take kind to your beach funneling in front of her 4-year-old.

People who are going on Spring Break with the plan to do drugs won't be stopped by anything that I have to say. With that said, I'm gonna throw this advice out to anyone who plans on dabbling in an extra-curricular activities. Remember that Mexico doesn't play around, and neither does the Carribean. The last thing you want is one night of getting high to ruin your entire Spring Break. Oh, and buying drugs off the street in 2013 is just dumb. If you're going international, don't even think about it. Just remember, as a Spring Breaker, you are a prime target for set up, so as the guys at Four Pins would say, "Play at your own risk."

If you're still wearing sandals to the beach in 2013, my only question is "Why?" You can't wear them in the water, and you can't wear them in the sand. If there is any need for footwear, sandals were probably the least safe bet, and being that you're on Spring Break, chances are you won't be in a 100% sober state of mind for any longer than 10 minutes at a time. Don't let sandals be the cause of some foot injury that will have you sidelined for the week. Chucks, Vans, even CROCS (if you must). Dear God, just anything but sandals.

The common rule about Spring Break is that "there are no rules," but that logic is about as flawed as "whatver happens in Vegas, blah blah" - you get what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong, you are more than welcome to go APE and have the time of your life, but don't take the word YOLO in it's literal sense. Get rowdy. Get wild. Do things that will make for good stories one day when you're settled down in your first-time homebuyers crib sippin' on Bud Light Lime-a-Ritas, but avoid getting too turnt up. I'm talking about losing your clothes in public, or even worse, control over your body fluids. You also don't want to spend all of your parents money the first night you're in town. Oh, you're independent? You saved up your own money? Well, you're still gonna spend most of your money on alcohol and food. Don't get wasted and blow all your money on jet-skiing with dolphins (no matter how cool it may seem at the time) No one wants to be that guy asking their friends if their gonna finish whatever they're eating at every meal for the rest of the week. Being broke sucks. Being broke on Spring Break really sucks.

I hate to be biased here, but there is little to no need to even brief the females on this one. I'm lookin' at you fellas. No matter how much you think the fact that being on Spring Break will make females fall at your feet, that couldn't be any farther from the truth. Also, refrain from rolling deep with all your homies. Sprinkle a few platonic female friends in your mix, or encourage that one dude in your crew to bring his girlfriend and her friends along for the trip. Unless, of course you think that any girl would really be down for going back to your double queen room that is currently housing eight of your rowdiest bros. Also, do you really think her panty patrol is just gonna let her loose with you and your crew? Use your instincts, remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint. Also, don't be the dude who packs the most condoms - according to our friends at Four Pins, he's guaranteed the most strikeouts.

Chances are, if you just have fun, everything else will fall into place naturally. Just think of that dude in your Psych class that tries way to damn hard, and do the opposite of whatever you think he would do if he was on vacation with you. As long as you keep in mind that whatever you do (and don't do) on Spring Break this year, isn't the end of the world, you'll be fine. Shower regularly, don't be a bum, stay out of jail, don't fall asleep in the club or with your shoes on, and you'll be just fine. Now go, turn up, and enjoy your Spring Break!