Kid Cudi Admits He Turned to Drugs Because He Couldn’t Handle Success

Kid Cudi has been through a lot over the course of his career, and the Cleveland, Ohio artist is completely open and honest in a new interview on Pharrell Williams' Beats 1 program, OTHERtone. Throughout the conversation, Cudder delves into his past drug use, thoughts of suicide and early encounters with Kanye West.

The man on the moon speaks on his early rise to fame. "It was nerve-wracking, man. I'll tell you the truth -- it's what drove me to drugs," he says. "I was like 'Man, I'm gon' other kill myself or I'm gon' do some drugs, and I wanna live, so..."

Cudi explains that, although he knows he worked hard, he wasn't able to truly enjoy his newfound success. He tells Pharrell, "I didn't like that I had money and success and I had made it, and everybody that I had ever met in my life -- good people -- weren't able to experience the same. And I wasn't able to truly enjoy my success. Even though I worked hard for it, it bothered me that I just had so much and my friends didn't. And it was hard for me to enjoy it. And that's the truth ... It didn't seem fair."

On the topic of drug use, the "Day 'N Nite" rapper says, "I was a considerable little addict for a time. I didn't want people to know, I had tricks of hiding it. It was wild man, 'cuz I was just trying to maintain. I wasn't trying to be cool. I wasn't proud of it. My two uncles were crackheads growing up. I had to see that shit."

Cudder also describes his first official meeting with Yeezy, when he flew to Hawaii to write hooks and collaborate on The Blueprint 3 and 808s and Heartbreak. Cudi breaks down how he came up with the choruses for "Already Home" and "Welcome to Heartbreak," from those two albums, respectively, though the latter seems to have been originally meant for BP3. 

You can watch the interview in two parts – above and below – via Apple Music. Keep it locked to XXL for more music and news from Kid Cudi.

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