With all her recent success, it’s hard to imagine energetic hip-hop star Nicki Minaj ever having a bad day. But in the years before she made it big, the quirky singer often was so down on herself that she even once contemplated suicide.

In the November issue of Cosmopolitan, Minaj said, “I kept having doors slammed in my face. I felt like nothing was working… It was just one dead end after another. At one point, I was, like, ‘What would happen if I just didn’t wake up?’ That’s how I felt. Like, ‘Maybe I should just take my life?’”

Those dark thoughts are obviously a thing of the past, and Minaj has much brighter predictions for the days to come.

“[Eventually] I will have put out five albums and will have an Oscar and Grammys,” she told the magazine. “And I will be getting married and, a couple of years after that, will have a bun in the oven. My whole life is about being Nicki Minaj now. It’s a never-ending saga.”

[Us Weekly]