Trojan Condoms has released the college rankings of their 8th Annual Sexual Health Report Card and UL ranked in the bottom 10. On a surface level one could assume that UL is a "dirty school" where promiscuity runs rampant and STDs are within a stone's throw, but that's not necessarily the case at all.

First and foremost, lets look at what information Trojan used to evaluate the schools for its annual list. The nationwide study of 140 universities was based on the accessibility of sexual health resources and information available to students on campus.

Student health centers were graded on the following 11 categories:

-Hours of operation
-Allow drop-ins or require appointments for student scheduling
-Quality of sexual health information and resources on website
-Contraceptive availability — free or at cost
-Condom availability — free or at cost
-HIV testing on-site (On/off campus, cost)
-STI testing on-site (On/off campus, cost)
-Lecture/outreach programs and student peer groups for sexual health education
-Sexual assault programs, resources or services
-Overall website usability and quality
-Extra credit

In lay terms, that means the schools with the most free condoms, pamphlets and stuff telling you to wrap up your junk before getting busy will rank higher on the list.

sexual health rankings amongst colleges
Joe Raedle, Getty Images
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With that said, here's what the top ten schools looked like:

  1. Princeton University
  2. Columbia University
  3. University of Arizona
  4. University of Iowa
  5. Brown University
  6. University of Illinois
  7. Rutgers University
  8. The University of Texas At Austin
  9. University of Denver
  10. University of Wisconsin

Trojan didn't go to any of these schools and collect any data on STDs amongst students, or peek their heads inside of dorm rooms to make sure kids were practicing safe sex.

In fact, if you take a closer look at the "bottom" ten schools you'll notice the majority of them are either religious schools or schools in the "religiosity belt" (yes, that's a real thing) and it should come as no surprise that these schools aren't big fans of talking about sexual health.

  1. Brigham Young University
  2. Chicago State University
  3. Providence College
  4. Troy State University
  5. University of New Orleans
  6. Louisiana Tech University
  7. Savannah State University
  8. Seton Hall University
  9. St. John's University-New York
  10. University of Louisiana At Lafayette
most religious states gallup
Gallup
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So there you have it, UL is not the herpes-infested campus that Trojan's silly list made us out to be. Our mama's raised us to know better without having to stuff our backpacks with daily reminders of what can happen when you're not smart about sex. As a matter of fact, our mama's mama would rather us not even talk about it in public, as long as we know right from wrong.

As for Chicago State, we got no excuse for you. Ya'll are just dirty.

Put away that SARS mask and don't waste your lab fees on those portable Purell hand sanitizer thingys. Also, know that no matter where your school falls on this list, at the end of the day, we're all responsible for our own bodies.

In the meantime wear your red and proudly say WE ARE (and we hook up safely with) RAGIN' CAJUNS!

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