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What Do Your Exes Say About You?

flickr user: mrhayata

Some people meet their soul mates in high school, date for a few years, and end up getting married. And that’s awesome for them. Congratulations to those lucky, monogamous, decisive creatures. We wish them so much luck…

For the rest of us however, we are destined to spend a good chunk of our lives navigating the often treacherous slalom of the dating world; with nothing guiding our way but trial, error, bad advise from friends who don’t know anyway, and alcohol.

But as I stand now in the ashes of my latest dating disaster, I can’t help but think of the poor unfortunate girls that came before. The good, the bad, and the freaking mean, who in their own ways helped guide and shape my life.

They say that opposites attract, but I think that’s wrong. Have you ever seen a vegan animal rights activist pursuing a butcher? That’s not how life works.

Instead, I believe we are attracted to people with qualities and characteristics that we wish were part of our own lives or personalities. For instance, a rock climbing action sports guy may be interested in a nursing girl for her attention to detail and drive, and she may be interested in him for his bravery and fearlessness.

As relationships grow, and as we grow as people, the characteristics and traits that we are interested in often change and evolve, causing breakups and pursuits of new people.

This gets me thinking, if we pursue people with characteristics that we admire and want to posses, wouldn’t that allow our dating history to serve as a sort of micro-biography of our lives, revealing where we’ve been, what we wanted, and how we’ve grown?

Think back to those you’ve pursued over the years and why. What characteristics about them were you interested in at the time? What characteristics about them pushed you away? The answers could lead you to an interesting story about your life. It certainly puts a whole new spin on the phrase, “What do my exes say about me?”

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