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Fellas, Listen Up! — Warm Laptops, WiFi and 5 Other Things That Can Wreck Your Junk

(Photo by Sean Gallup/Getty Images)

A new study has just come out and if you are a dude with a laptop, you need to listen up. A team of Argentine scientists found that placing drops of semen from healthy men under a laptop connected wirelessly to the Internet kills or maims your little swimmers. This also means that that little computer in your front pocket that you call a smartphone is just as menacing to your sperm being that it also connects to available WiFi. Protecting our junk should rank as a high priority on our list of things to do when it comes to being a dude, so ease up on the crotch to laptop contact for long periods of time, especially when it comes to being connected to WiFi. Buy one of those obnoxious cooling fan pillow thingys or something. And while you're at it, check out this list of other things that can ruin the proper functioning of your family jewels.

Sion Touhig/Getty Images
Sion Touhig/Getty Images


Men with low sperm counts are often advised to abstain from sex in order to improve their sperm count, but new research suggests that while this may improve sperm count, too much abstinence can damage the DNA of the sperm that is produced. Australian researchers have found that having daily sex actually improves the quality, if not the quantity of sperm.  Basically it's out with the old, and in with the new, so get your freak on.


Sandra Mu/Getty Images
Sandra Mu/Getty Images


Size Matters

No, not that size gutter-brain.



Men who are overweight or underweight are more likely to have problems with infertility.  Having too much or too little body fat may affect a man’s hormone levels.   Scientists have found that a 20 lb weight gain may increase a man’s chance of being infertile by 10 percent. Fit = Fertile.


Tim Boyle/Getty Images
Tim Boyle/Getty Images


Avoid The Soy

No matter how hip it is to be organic, it ruins your package.



Eating organic food is cool now, but scientists say that eating a diet high in soy foods could cause men to have a lower sperm count.  According to a study, men who ate soy foods were more likely to have lower sperm counts (although not necessarily abnormally low) than men who did not eat soy. Real milk > Silk milk any day, every day, all day.


David McNew/Getty Images
David McNew/Getty Images


Ease Up On The Lube

Too much slick will ruin your…. experience.



Sure it feels great. Sure it makes things run smoothly. But, the truth is, that lube is slowing things down big time, literally. Lubricants can impede the movement of sperm.  A woman’s cervical mucous is designed to help transport sperm, but many commercial lubricants have the opposite effect.  Lubricants like KY Jelly, baby oil, or petroleum jelly have been shown to slow down or damage sperm.  Saliva can also damage sperm. One lubricant that is okay to use is Pre-seed. But could you really use something called Pre-seed and not giggle? Don't worry, neither could I.


Matt Cardy/Getty Images
Matt Cardy/Getty Images


Score At Sunrise

The sun isn’t the only thing that rises in the morning.



A little morning dew never hurt anyone, and if you are trying to conceive, you know that it is crucial to time intercourse when his sperm count is at its highest.  Researchers have found that men generally have a higher sperm count in the mornings.  Men’s sexual interest may be higher in the mornings as well.  So don't be afraid to start your day off right.


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