Emerald Catron

We're used to Jesus showing up in a cornflake, or a water stain. Maybe a piece of toast. Not so much a dog's butthole. But there he is, assuming he was real and looked the way he's been painted by a bunch of European artists. Right in a dog's backside...

We're not here to tell you how to run your life. We're mostly just here to provide you with cute pictures of kittens and GIFs you might like. But, if we could make a suggestion, don't get your dad any of these things for Father's Day.

We wish we could remember how amazing it felt to learn something as simple as what a shadow is. Instead we're stuck barely being able to remember all of our passwords for internet logins.

Rather than referencing 'My Little Pony' or 'Twilight,' one Texas student decided to use his chance to speak at his high school graduation to come out as gay. *Then* Mitch Anderson started making references -- to Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Zachary Quinto's eyebrows, the chorus of a Nicki Minaj song, etc.

Cronuts have taken over New York City (and the internet) in a big way. The hybrid croissant-doughnuts are only available at one bakery, and when they're gone madness ensues. People are scalping pastries, folks. There's a cronut black market on Craigslist, where you can have one delivered to you for $40. There are bootleg "doissants." It's insanity.

Sure, it's only the first week of June, but here are the best vines of June. Listen, we know it's crazy, but that's what this video is called. So either the rest of the Vines this month are not going to be this funny, everybody is going to take a Vinecation until July, or they're just going to keep adding more and more Vines to the end of this video each week...

Well, you don't see this every day. Unless you come back every day and watch this video again. But let's not get caught up in particulars. Let's just watch Jimmy Fallon's very successful mashup of Brian Williams clips that makes him rap the lyrics to 'Nuthin' But a G Thang' by Dr...

Granted, this video is not as elaborate as most of the proposals we feature on here. There was no puppet movie, no homemade video game. There was just an awesome surprise.

Here are a couple life lessons to live by: Always sign out of your Facebook, folks. Oh, and also don't cheat on your girlfriend. Valuable lessons to takeaway from this deceptively cheerful breakup note peppered with hearts and exclamation points.

We've said it before, and we'll say it again -- if you're going to subject yourself to the stress of parenthood, you may as well use your kids for party tricks. This dad has taught his almost two-year-old son to sing and strum along with him to 'Don't Let Me Down' by the Beatles...

Playing the crash cymbals for the 'Star Spangled Banner' in your school band is kind of a big deal. It's definitely the most dramatic part of the song, and it only gets more dramatic when one of the cymbals breaks. What does one do when such a nightmare occurs? Take a cue from this kid who handled the situation like a bawse.

Look at that -- a cute video about a little girl who loves her daddy. JK! IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT HOW "NON-WHITES" ARE TRYING TO DESTROY THE WORLD!! At least according to the racist internet monsters who said so many horrible things in the comments section of this video that Cheerios scrubbed and disabled them.

If you were planning on taking pictures at your wedding, you may as well cancel the photographer. In fact, you should probably call off the entire wedding, because what could possibly top this picture?

If you're not taking advantage of your baby's pliability and lack of motor control skills to pose them for silly photographs, frankly we don't understand why you even had kids. If for no other reason than to post a picture of your kid to Facebook every once in a while that is actually entertaining, instead of just sharing "the magic" of a 10-month-old eating pie. Of course they like it -

If you've ever had the unfortunate opportunity to come face to face with a goose, you know that birds are total jerks. If you've been blessed enough to somehow avoid all personal contact with birds, we are here to tell you that birds are total jerks.

This video should be just the thing to lift your spirits if you really wish you weren't back at work already. It's a supercut. Not just any supercut -- a supercut of 77 awesome (and not so awesome) dance scenes from movies set to 'Safety Dance.' It's pretty great.

If you brought a spare pare of pants to work today, feel free to watch this video. Storm chasers Bradon Ivey and Sean Casey were sitting in their "Tornado Intercept Vehicle" when they quite literally intercepted a tornado.

Good old Jim Carrey. Always there for you when you need an over-the-top reaction GIF. Don't believe us? See what we mean.

We know -- business cards? Even though nearly everything is done in the digital realm, they are still a thing. A thing we usually throw in the bin straightaway. We would gladly let these cards clutter up our desk, though. They're creative enough to warrant existing, and probably actually earn their proprietors some business. Check them out below.

Have you ever seen somebody share their phone number publicly (on Craigslist maybe, or one of those homemade ads for "computer lessons" on the subway) and thought to yourself "I should totally prank this guy"? You haven't? Oh, uh ... neither have we. Ever. Clearly -- we're not monsters. But the person behind Textastrophe is!