Woman’s Boyfriend Scolds Her for Family’s ‘Rude’ Treatment of House Staff

A man confronted his girlfriend regarding the way she and her family treated their house staff at their vacation home.

The man explained on Reddit that he has been dating his girlfriend for five months. He knew her family was "well off," but didn't know how rich they were until he spent a few days at their beach house to celebrate her father’s 60th birthday.

"The house wasn’t just HUGE, but it also employed a staff of about eight people. I was never used to being served like that, and I witnessed some behaviors from my girlfriend and some of her family toward the workers that made me feel uncomfortable," he wrote.

The man provided some examples from the trip:

• "After our first night, I heard her mother tell one of the housekeepers to clean the bedroom my girlfriend and I were staying in; I told her mother everything was in order and that I already made our bed before leaving; her mother then told me (in the presence of the housekeeper) that I shouldn’t bother because that’s her (the housekeeper’s) job."
• "The other morning my girlfriend and I woke up after everyone else had their breakfast; I went into the kitchen to grab some coffee and saw the cooks were already starting to prep for lunch, so I told them I didn’t want to bother them and made the coffee myself; my girlfriend came into the kitchen moments later and saw me making coffee; later that day she complained to her mother (without even asking me how things came about) that the cooks left me to make my own coffee. I had to explain everything."
• "On her father’s birthday, they had a fancy dinner with some other guests that came just that day, and some of the staff was made to stand in the room with their backs to the wall as we sat at the table and ate (it was like some Downton Abbey s--t)."

During the trip, he kept his opinions to himself, but when they returned home he told his girlfriend that "it made me really uncomfortable to see how she behaved toward the staff and also gave some examples of instances when I felt her parents were rude to them."

His girlfriend wasn't happy after his declaration.

"In her mind we had a perfect week together and I was withholding my judgment until I could unleash it all on her," he concluded.

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Users sounded off in the comments, with many backing his girlfriend and her family.

"Obviously people, regardless of their job, should be treated with respect. But, I just want you to consider a different perspective for a second. The staff might be 100 percent OK with the behavior you saw, if they’re paid enough/feel confident that it’s better than other job options. An outsider seeing my job would probably think some parts of it are ridiculous, but those parts are worth it to me as the person actually doing the job," one person wrote.

"I have never in my life been to a house where there are staff standing around the table while everyone is eating. I would feel uncomfortable, too. But when I'm staying in a hotel I find it normal that waiters are serving the food and then standing around to make sure everything is in order, and that cleaning staff are cleaning my room every day. It seems that this family is paying to have their household run as if it were a hotel. This doesn't have to be a bad thing," another user commented.

"Well, she's right, it is the housekeeper's job. If you're in a restaurant, do you take your dirty plates to the kitchen or do you let the waiter do it? It's not mean or demeaning to ask your guests to stop meddling with your staff's work," someone else chimed in.