When Does Jambalaya Lose Its Louisiana Soul

(KMDL-FM) I have been debating as to whether this might have been better served written as an Open Letter to Governor Landry. Or maybe writing it to Billy Nungesser would be better since he is all about tourism and pimping Louisiana on a grander scale.  But then I thought, no, I should bring this to the people who will really get something done, you. Folks, there is a serious breach of Louisiana pride and protocol happening regarding one of our culinary kings, Jambalaya.

Jambalaya is as synonymous to  Louisinana as Jazz is with New Orleans, alcohol free wedding receptions are to  Pineville, and drunken grandmas fighting over card games are to Vermilion Parish. There is an emotional, cultural, and passionate connection to this dish made with rice.

READ MORE: Can You Believe This is The Most Controversial Food in Louisiana?

Even though I did have some amazing pastalaya from Hebert's Specialty Meats, I can see why purists get rowdy about pastalaya. And why people who love pastalaya keep their mouths shut, mainly because it's always full of pastalaya.

Warning: You Will See the Most Offensive Jambalaya You've Ever Seen - Be Careful

Back to the jambalaya conundrum. Before I threaten your retinas with a picture of what I am about to describe, I would like to go on record that we all acknowledge there are three "LAs". There is LA, as in Louisiana. If you've gotten this far, you're from there. We are the ones with the swamps.

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There is L.A., as in Lower Alabama. That's Gulf Shores, Orange Beach, and Perdido Key; it's where people from our LA go to vacation. So we are quite comfortable with two of the three "LAs". For that third one, we might have to get a note from Liz Murril, who's about to sue them. Really, Governor Newsome, straight to the 6th letter.

READ MORE: Liz Murril, Louisiana Attorney General, Talks Cockfighting

Yeah, I am talking about Los Angeles, as in California, for that third "LA". Truly a case of same planet, different world. What's one difference between Louisiana, LA, and Los Angeles, LA? We only send our Insurance Commissioners to jail. 

Not saying one is better or one is righter. Just sayin' one is closer to home and the other is appreciated for making the effort, but to use another Los Angeles term, could you "Warner Brother'. Okay, bad pun, but the t-shirt has sold very well.

Los Angeles is a melting pot of many cultures. By melting pot, I mean Los Angeles is a city with a bunch of pots (cultures) that don't want any other pots (cultures) messing around in their pot(cultures). Thank you, Nate Bargatze, for first bringing that analogy to light. But in Los Angeles, they try. And one of the ways they try is by fusing food and food cultures.

Sure You Could Make Vegetarian Jamblaya but Should You, Really?

Sometimes that works, the blending of food cultures, and sometimes it just doesn't seem to blend in the best way. I am not suggesting that you can't do it; I am simply asking whether you should do it. The "it" I am referring to is the dish you see below, vegetarian jambalaya.

Did those words make you want to call Morris Bart, Laborde Earles, and Dudley Debossier on Brian Caubarreaux's phone? For a lot of people in and from Louisiana, there is no way that dish can be made as described since the addition of fat and proteins, chicken, sausage, or both, is required. Otherwise, you might as well make smothered whatever vegetable you're making.

I am not decrying or passing judgment on the vegetarian lifestyle at all. I am just questioning whether you really should be calling your recipes by their authentic names. The lady who sent these pictures to me is a Lafayette native.

What are some authentic jambalaya recipes from Louisiana that locals swear by?

She grew up on Best Stop, Hebert's, Don's, and all of the other specialty meat places around Acadiana. When she ordered jambalaya, she, I think anyway, was within her rights to expect the dish to at least taste and look similar to its namesake.

All I am asking is, could we create a regulation like the seafood people have, where they spell "Crab" with "K" if it's not really crab?  Maybe call this product or similar products "fauxbalya" or "Imalyay" or "nopebalaya", or "soundslikesomethingsomebodyincaliforniawouldreamupbalaya".  Oh, and they make a gumbo too.

Yeah, that's a picture of it. And I would say that if I walked up to a cauldron and saw something in it labeled gumbo and it looked like this, I would be fooled into trying it. Our Lafayette native, who was tricked into trying it, felt betrayed by this as well.

Why Go to a "Cajun Restaurant" Outside of Louisiana?

By the way, the reason she even went there, which I know some of you hard heads are asking, go ahead, click the link, see who I think is hard-headed. She had to go there for work as part of a business lunch. The "boss" thought it would be fun to take the team to lunch in the Armenian part of Los Angeles, where she came across a vegetarian restaurant that specializes in "Southern Cooking".  See, what I mean? Same planet, different world, right?

To make the situation even more interesting, everyone knew our friend was from Louisiana, and they kept asking her, "How'd they do"? Our friend says she was raised to tell the truth and deflected the question with a discussion about the nuttiness of roux or some other bayou-esque comment that seemed to satisfy the group.

I can't say that I couldn't have been as tactful. By the way, don't go around breaking any of these if you're going to use the word gumbo.