If you are a convicted felon, there are a couple of ways to ensure another trip back to the pokey – shooting yourself in the balls with an illegal firearm is one way.

According to a Kansas police report, convicted felon Tavares Donnell Colbert, 36, was arrested for possession of a firearm after officers say the man accidentally shot himself in the wiener with a pistol minutes before trying to sell it.

When police were dispatched to the emergency room at Southwest Medical Center on Saturday, they not only found Colbert bleeding profusely from his crotch, but a parole violation in overdrive.

Colbert reportedly told police that he had purchased the illegal firearm on the street with the intent to sell it to an undisclosed buyer in the parking lot of a convenience store. The man decided to pull over to the side of the road to inspect the quality of the piece and to make sure that it actually worked before attending the meeting.

Guess what – it did.

Before Colbert even had a chance to “unload” the firearm to his buyer, the gun unloaded on its own, sending a bullet sailing straight into his old walrus and Colbert on panic driven terror ride to the hospital.

While the extent of Colbert’s pecker-wrecker damage is not known, he was taken into police custody immediately after being released from the hospital.

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