Is it an emergency? I would often ask my kids this question when they would call me at work about something they needed for school or at home. Most of the time, it wasn't a true emergency but more of an urgent need. Real emergencies require the trained professionals, you know, the first responders.

While we don't know 50-year-old Katrina Morgan personally, we have to assume from her actions that she is still quite active in an intimate sort of way. The reason we assume this is based on her call to the Port Clinton Ohio Police Department's 911 emergency dispatch.

If you want to hear the actual 911 Audio it's on this video. But I must warn you some of the language is definitely not safe for work.

In her calls to 911 Morgan reportedly told the dispatcher that there was a fire. When asked the location of the fire, Morgan replied that the, I'm paraphrasing and you're welcome, the hot spot was located between her legs and she needed them to send over a hot smokin' firefighter to put it out.

This might not come as a surprise to you but when officers arrived on the scene they noticed that there were several empty bottles of alcohol scattered about the premises. The people inside the home told the responding officers that Ms. Morgan was indeed highly intoxicated.

It just goes to show you that Homer Simpson was right when it comes to booze. "Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems". Let's just hope Ms. Morgan found a way to quench her thirst and douse the fire before she had to put on that orange jumpsuit.

Here are 50 of your favorite retail chains that no longer exist.