Hey, white shirt, it's been a good Summer, you've kept me cool while still looking classy, but now that Labor Day has come and gone I think it's time we part ways. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love you, but I love messy foods more. Plus, I'm tired of carrying around Tide-to-go.

Ok, fine, it's not like I wasn't eating messy foods all Summer long, but that fear of spilling juice on your white dress, or accidentally squirting ketchup on your white shorts enough to make me never want to wear white again.

So, sayonara white tees, jeans, and dresses I'm going in on a plate of loaded fries and I'm not worrying about messing you up until Memorial Day.

Here are the five foods I'm looking forward to eating in obscene amounts now that white clothing is out of my life.


  • al62


    I'm not gonna lie, I don't think I've ever eaten spaghetti without getting sauce on myself. It's impossible! If you slurp up a noodle even just a little sauce goes flying. I should probably just start wearing a bib, but instead I will give the white tee's a break for a while. Let's be real, spaghetti is too good not to slurp.

  • Ivan Kmit


    Ok, I know sushi doesn't sound messy, but once soy sauce joins the party it becomes a different story. Those soy sauce drips are deadly! One drip on a nice pair of white pants and they are dunzo. And don't even get me started on the mess soy sauce makes when your chopsticks slip and you drop a heaping pile of raw fish and rice in the soy sauce bowl, yeah it's a disaster.

  • bhofack2

    Jelly Donuts

    "Donut" mess with a jelly donut in white clothes, that is a given. No matter how hard you try the jelly always squeezes out the bottom and onto your shirt. Sometimes I just want to bite into one of those jelly-filled puffs and not worry about my clothes being ruined forever.

  • David Lee


    I know crawfish season only takes place during a few those white clothes months, but man it's an unfortunately situation if you wear white to a crawfish boil. Between the juices spraying out of the crawfish and that delicious dipping sauce there are many ways to ruin a white out fit.

  • bhofack2

    Chocolate Ice Cream

    All ice cream can get messy, especially when the weather is hot, but chocolate ice cream in a cone is a white outfits nightmare. It drips on your hands and you think you have it all off, but really you just wiped it on your white shorts and now you are unknowingly walking around with brown stains on what would have been a cute summer fit. Chocolate ice cream cones should be banned during white clothes season, just saying.