Discovered: Spider With ‘Extra Long Mating Appendage’ – Is It Here?

(KMDL-FM) I would be interested to know if you're here to find out about the kind of new spider, or if you're more interested in how scientists determine the length of a spider's mating appendage? Both are valid reasons to want to learn more. So whatever your reason for suddenly becoming an arachnologist, I think we've got your answers.

READ MORE: Louisiana's Most Dangerous Spiders

Scientists have just announced the discovery of a new spider. It's actually a different "model" of a spider we are all too familiar with. However, this version of that species seems to have a bad attitude, makes a hissing sound, and appears to be quite well endowed when it comes to procreating the species.

How "Normal" Is It to Be Afraid of Spiders?

The fear of spiders is one of the more common specific phobias worldwide. About 15% fo the global population counts themselves as "scared of spiders". I would hazard a guess that most of the remaining 85% of the global population is at least "uncomfortable" around the 8-legged creatures.

Here in Louisiana, we have our share of helpful spiders. You know the ones that eat mosquitoes and flies and generally coexist with us until we walk blindly into their webs and suddenly start flailing like a man on fire.  We also have our venomous spiders. Those are the ones that can bite and leave you with a lot more than "just a mark".

I count myself as a quiet fan and friend of spiders. I value what they contribute to the ecosystem and applaud them for their assistance in making my life with other insects more tolerable. I should also say that if I look down and a spider is walking across my hand, one of us will not be leaving that situation alive.

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The newly discovered creature, according to an article in Science Daily, is the Satyrex ferox. It's a tarantula. One of the more "oogy" of the spiders if you ask me. Tarantulas are the big, hairy spiders you see featured in horror movies or when the Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii, yeah, that one.

Just How Big is This Spider's "Mating Appendage"?

The newly discovered creature has a leg span of 5.5 inches, which, because comedy writes itself, just happens to be about the same length as the average American male's mating appendage. So, the tarantula is not endowed like a human, but its leg span is about the same length as...well, you know.

READ MORE: Tarantulas Are On the Move in Louisiana

The scientist who discovered the creature says it's very fierce. They observed the spider raising its front legs up in a threat posture, and they even noticed the creature making an audible hissing sound. That noise is achieved by rubbing its hairy front legs together. Kind of like the sound of a fat kid running in corduroy pants. I can say that I was that fat kid.

Does the Satyrex ferox Spider Live in Louisiana?

The spider lives in burrows underground, at the base of shrubs and plants, or in between rocks. Here comes the good news for Louisiana: the creature, so far, has only been confirmed in the Arabian Peninsula or the Horn of Africa. Both of which are nowhere close to Louisiana, whew.

And the answer to that other question that you didn't want to ask out loud, but still need to know. It's about 5 centimeters or nearly two inches long. Its mating appendage is about half as long as its legs are.

And if you want to visit places where people act like male appendages, you might choose these "wonderful" communities. At least this new spider doesn't live there, too.