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50 Things Your Kids Will Likely Never Do

flickr user: spondooley

A lot has changed in the past 20 years. Many technological advances have came and went while the world slowly turned digital. These days the internet affects pretty much everything we do. We’re always logged on and rarely out of touch. We’ve come a long way but the digital age has claimed many nostalgic casualties from times gone by.

Get ready for some serious childhood flashbacks as we countdown 50 Things Your Kids Will Likely Never Do.

1. Use An Encyclopedia.
-Why crack an ancient book when Google has up the second information at your fingertips? While we’re at it let’s throw in, “talk to door to door encyclopedia salesmen too.

2. Wait for months to be able to buy a song they heard on the radio.
-Remember when songs came on the radio long before they were released in stores? Seems like ancient history now. These days the songs are leaked and available on the internet before the studios can even finish mixing and mastering them.

3. Go to a video store to rent a video.
-Years from now when your child finds your Blockbuster card you’ll have to sit down and explain to them what life was like before Netflix and Redbox.

4. Wait for someone to get off the phone to use the internet.
-”Don’t answer that, I’m downloading something!!”

5. Look up the definition/spelling of a word in a dictionary.

6. Mail a personal letter to a pen pal.
-The art of the handwritten letter is barely alive today.

7. Go on a true blind date.
-With the advent of Facebook, Twitter, and Flickr the days of true blind dates are long gone. You know what everyone looks like.

8. Navigate with a physical map.

9. Not know who is calling.
-Sorry Bart Simpson, the prank calling glory days are long behind us.

10. Rewind a VHS or cassette tape.

11. Buy walkie talkies.
-Walkie Talkies were once the coolest way to coordinate capture the flag raids and secret neighborhood missions. These days cell phones have all but replaced these once super cool devices.

12. Find the nearest television set to tune in to breaking news.

13. Beg parents for own phone line.
-It was once a house divider, a catalyst for temper tantrums, and a sign of teenage angst. These days offering a preteen girl her own phone line would result in confused looks rolled eyes. My how times have changed.

14. Unwrap the pesky plastic around a new CD.

15. Shop at places that don’t accept credit cards.

16. Nervously call their first crush and pray their parents don’t answer / or having parents pick up the phone during a late night convo and embarrassing you.
-I for one am very unhappy my kids will never have to go through my biggest childhood nightmare.

17. Call Movie Phone to find out whats playing at the theater.

18. Miss an episode of their favorite TV show.
-Remember when missing your favorite TV show meant waiting a week to see the replay? These days between DVR and Hulu we rarely watch shows as they air.

19. Call time & temperature to find out the exact time.
-anyone know it?…been so long, can’t remember

20. Rely on the weatherman to know the day’s forecast.

21. Not be able to get in touch with someone.

22. Look up a number in a phone book.
-Should I go with AAAAAAAAAAAAA-Tire Repair, or AAAAA-Tire Repair?

23. Using a rotary dial phone.
-Today’s phones might have cool ring tones and flashing lights, but they’ve got nothing on the visceral experience of using a genuine rotary phone.

24. Waiting for their favorite song to come on the radio so they can record it.

25. Good cartoons.
-No explanation needed here.

26. The sound of dialing up to the internet.

27. Candy cigarettes.

28. Putting serious thought into burning a personal CD.
-Blank discs were expensive, and you knew you’d mess up the first time you’d try to burn a CD anyway.

29. Playing outside being more fun that playing inside.

30. Emptying a pencil sharpener.
-This was your excuse to randomly get out of your desk and walk around in middle school, something that mechanical pencils will never be able to replicate.

31. Having to lug around enormous CD booklets.

32. Running out of gas.
-Cars today have taken all the fun out of running out of gas. With hybrid engines and digital countdowns you know exactly when “E” stands for “extra 10 miles (Tim Taylor)” and when it doesn’t.

33. Full service gas stations.

34. Racism
-With each generation we get more connected and further away from the negative influences of the past. Hopefully our kids will never know racism in their time.

35. Family sitcoms
-”You mean with real actors?”

36. Blowing into a Nintendo game to make it work.

37. Slapping a TV to get the picture back.

38. Barney.
-If I love you, and you love me, why did you kick me off the TV?

 

39. Michael Jordan, Joe Montana & Wayne Gretsky
-There will be great ones in the future, but no doubt your kids will want to know what it was like seeing these legends play.

40. TGIF, SNICK & Nick Jr.

41. Chappelle’s Show
-Hard to believe so much comedy was packed into so few shows. Your kids will no doubt rediscover this classic, hopefully when they’re old enough.

42. Pop Stars that can actually sing.

43. Y2K
-Yeah, uh…we kind of messed up on that one didn’t we earth.

44. 9/11
-Hard to believe it was over ten years ago already. Your kids will likely want to know where you were when it happened. I know I’ll never forget.

45. Trading Cards

46. Unsafe toys that were fun as hell.
-Somebody double bounce me on the trampoline so I can do a back flip…and oh, here comes the lawn dart!

47. Nerf Everything.

48. Ridiculously Awesome game shows.
-Nickelodeon we’re looking at you. Global Guts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Wild and Crazy Kids, Double Dare, they’ll never be topped.

49. Being limited to the clothing/trends/products that are available in your town.
-With internet shopping you can get pretty much anything from anywhere, meaning your kids will not attend their first school dance with everyone wearing the same Old Navy shirt.

50. Hiding/Altering Report Cards
-Unless your kids are computer hackers (which they very well might be) they’ll likely never be able to do some old school surgery on paper report cards.

___

Did you enjoy your trip down memory lane? What did we miss? What do you miss most? Let us know in the comment section at the bottom and be sure to click the “Like” button to share this with your friends.

That’s all for now,so in the immortal words of Kenan and Kel, “Awwww here it goes”.

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