5 Things That Maybe Alabama Actually Did Do First

This now notorious tattoo most likely had its humble beginnings in L.A. that's lower Alabama. Some historians believe that a large Alabama lady had the artwork done on her backside right above her buttocks as a safety precaution. This way if she passed out face down drunk in the sand her companions could roll her over and prevent suffocation before a wayward Hermit Crab made a home in the gap between her teeth.

This method of funding local government is believed to have started on the outskirts of Montgomery, the capital city of Alabama. The idea was to abruptly lower the posted speed by displaying a speed limit sign that was totally obstructed from motorists view. This would allow local officers the freedom to pick and choose from cars displaying out of state tags as they whizzed by in a desperate attempt to get out of the state.

In an effort to provide at least one positive image for the state, high ranking state officials reportedly made a deal with the underworld. In that deal, Satan, sent Paul "Bear" Bryant to Tuscaloosa to coach the football team. The leaders of the underworld felt pity for Bryant and allowed him to eventually die. The deal lapsed during the Mike Shula, Dennis Franchione, Mike Dubose, Joe Kines era at Alabama but was eventually reinstated when the Devil himself took over the program about ten years ago.

Although we can't technically give Alabama natives credit for inventing underboob sweat we can say they perfected it and made it popular. Fashion houses, also known as t-shirt shops, noted that the curved ring of perspiration that forms under a sweaty bosom had a strong resemblance to the curvature of the tri-oval at Talladega Superspeedway. They went with it and it worked.

I can't find evidence of the exact year but there had to have been a law passed that made sure that at every state line crossing there would be at least three fireworks stands on the Alabama side. The story that has been passed down through history suggests that Darryl "Three Fingers" Baldwin wanted to make sure that everyone who traveled through the state had the opportunity to remove body parts with explosive and concussive devices.